Nandosgirl's Weblog

{December 3, 2009} Joke of the Day 3/12/09

This is an email sent to me from a Canadian friend – This is fairly hilarious 🙂

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking..

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you’d better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe, Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the
hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don’t stink..

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Please send this on to any Canadian (or others) who you think will enjoy it as much as I did.

{November 18, 2009} Alternative ending to Superman

Currently most of my male friends are watching one of the several football matches on tv and its all anyone is tweeting about at the moment. So for the comic geeks among us, here is an alternative ending to Superman. What would happen if Lois found out…….

{November 18, 2009} Trying the whole gym thing

In a set of newly renewed resolutions originally made at the beginning of 2009 and probably at the beginning of most of years since I went to university – I intend to go to the gym more or just to move more in my life. The first few weeks are usually the hardest until you define a routine for yourself. As long as you go for 30min everyday then your body gets used to it and life becomes better.

Yesterday was the first time I went to a gym class in a very long time. As usual I enjoyed it, sometimes not fully understanding the inhale – exhale thing when the instructor is explaining it in French, but I get there.

Not sure how long this will last for, and gym partners are always welcome but for now, its just me slogging my way to the gym and seeing all the healthy people showing off what they can do. Encouragement please 🙂

{November 17, 2009} The Beginning of the packing

While this is not another post on flat hunting although that’s still going on, I am slightly surprised at the amount of stuff I have accumulated over the 3 years in this apartment. Every day trip somewhere in Belgium or pictures drawn by my niece and other crap that I keep collecting all seems to pile up.

Every year there are the usual articles in magazines about whether you are a hoarder or not. I don’t think I am as I do throw a lot of stuff out and can be quite ruthless but there seems to be so much stuff everywhere. I read these articles and smile knowingly that I am not that person. I am now sitting here looking at the boxes I am using and I seem to need more and more! Eeek.

I can imagine when I do eventually move – the new place will be boxes boxes and more boxes for a little while. I am actually freaking out as there are boxes everywhere and I don’t move till mid Decemeber! Arghhh, I suppose I should stop building boxes in my head until I figure out where they will be going!

boxes

{November 15, 2009} Chimpanzee on a Segway

This is a short posting – I just want to say that if the chimpanzee gets one then so should I! Awesome! The latest video doing the rounds on internet-land at the moment! LOVE IT!
I dare you NOT to have the song going through your head 🙂

{November 15, 2009} Clapping in the cinema

Another irritating point about people’s behaviour that gets me – people clapping in cinemas. There are facebook groups on this and there are netlog discussions about this yet it still surprises me that people still do it. I thought they may have been too ashamed once reading these groups/blogs that they might sit on their hands at the cinema now. But…. No.

So it’s a Saturday night and the film starts at 10.15PM, mostly bored couples and some random eejits like me attend at this time. The film in question is “MJ – This is it” The last minute slap dash film about the much anticipated epic concerts and the on stage preparation that had been taking place. I have to be honest, the preparation they went through, with a global casting for dancers and amazing videos and on stage decoration, the teams should be proud of the work they did, even though it was all for prep only.

The film lasted just over 90 minutes and the majority of it was just MJ dancing to all the songs we know and love. Each song received its own amazing choreography and examples of MJ being pedantic over how the song should be played or danced to, To be honest, the only good thing about the film was seeing the songs I love being actually sung by MJ. However, if we go back to my initial ranting topic, clapping in the cinema – I am seeing this film 3 weeks after it was released in Belgium and there were STILL people clapping at the end.

WHY?? WHAT IS THE POINT? What does it achieve?

Yes I agree, that the concert would have been absolutely amazing; had they been actually played out live, but perhaps we should leave the clapping for live performances?? This is the only time where the artists/actors/comedians will be able to fully appreciate the clapping and the happy clappers will also be the majority.

But just in case Happy Clappers need alternatives hobbies as they cannot resist – then here we go…

– To be given lead weight gloves to keep their hands firmly at their sides when at cinema
– To be given a separate private room so they may clap as loudly as they like
– To be confined to attend live performances only
– To be hired at bad live performances

I don’t think I’ve missed any have I?
Clap or not to clap

{November 13, 2009} Flat hunting in Brussels

This post topic will be the first of many as I am in the middle of flat hunting in Brussels. Now this can be an easy process for many, if your budget is unlimited. However, if you are watching your pennies (& who wouldn’t in these odd times) then you need to be a little more selective. In true drama queen style, everything I face is an “issue” and not an interesting obstacle to overcome. For instance, in Belgium the contract term is 3, 6 or 9 years and normally for my inner control freak that sounds perfect…. but not this time. I am only looking for one year so this initially complicates matters. There are many great areas to choose from in Brussels, from Woluwe St Pierre, Uccle, Ixelles etc etc but the inner Londoner in me has always decided that living near a metro is always the best solution. Regardless of the fact that trams and buses exist to help me travel from A to B – the inner Londoner has not fully comprehended this. So the list I have set myself is a simple 1 bedroom flat (which is DIFFERENT to a studio) in a nice area near a metro.

What single girl in the city wouldn’t want this? How difficult can this be?

The most recent viewing was yesterday. The advert description was “large airy 1 bedroom apartment in an interesting area” which translated to a small room which in total is one room and has a large ceiling and is placed in the late night convenience store area (some of you may recognise this as the “meat packing distract” (SATC)). The door on the front of the building was left open when we arrived and the guy showing us around whilst smoking explained that the owner was very fussy as to who he let stay in the apartment “you see, many families have come to see this lovely apartment (1 bedroom hole) and he is very selective as to who he would want to stay here.” My cynical mind goes into overdrive at this point – is this chain smoking unshaven bloke explaining to me that the owner is looking for a stable renter and wouldn’t mind a single girl staying in the family orientated building rather than another family??? Now although the chances of me having late night parties is fairly slim (tv addict) and I’m more likely to offer to babysit the other kids than stamp on them but still! Thats not the point here!

Other apartments have had the kitchen and sofa(bed) next to each other and a clothes line built into the ceiling to hang their clothes. One was on top of a bar, where the current occupant mentioned “no no of course you don’t hear any noise, its very quiet in this area actually, but don’t try using the garage as the owner doesn’t know we use it right now for our stuff…. WTF?? This hunt might actually kill me.

There is another issue of moving all my stuff – I have standard Ikea stuff, as do the majority of expats in Belgium and I have still thrown out the instructions for the bed and shelves but if I loose a screw between the 2 places, it could throw everything all off balance. It worries me. Hiring a lift, a van, removal men and then enlisting the time and energy of “friends.”

I say “friends” as it has to be a carefully selected bunch of people here, do they have cars? Do they know their screwdriver from a hammer? Can they put ikea furniture back together? (I certainly can’t) Or shall I just openly invite and promise free pizza to whoever actually helps?

Yes I am being fussy (yep you should see me in real life!) and I should probably look for other apartments (after being persuaded by friends) I will look for higher priced apartments (ugh) and I am hoping something comes up soon.

flat hunting

{October 4, 2009} A relatively unplanned weekend

I am generally quite a lazy person, and this weekend is one of the last few weekends I’ll have before my social agenda picks up again (I’m social butterfly don’t you know!) So a nice relaxing weekend was in order. However, that was not the way it turned out. This weekend has turned to be an exercise related weekend.

After being socially bullied by a bff (princess misia) I ended up signing up for a yoga class with BGGD. BGGD is a bunch of girly geeks who meet up for random events every few weeks, organised by Clo Willaerts. To be honest, yoga really isn’t my thing and with the size of my mouth and the speed at which I use it, saying ‘Om’ once awhile isn’t enough for me. However, I decided to give it a go, as I like to try new things. However tiring the event was, the delightful people from Vitamin Water were on hand to give out refreshing drinks that reminded me of the orange and lemon squash I was given as a child at primary school.

The weekend continued with a mini-marathon taking place outside my apartment so the roads were shut. Now, I don’t know about you, but as the self-titled laziest person in Montgomery, I feel it is exhausting to watch people running twice through my area. These are people who have trained months and months beforehand. They lead a normal social life (spent the previous evening with some of them) and they eat normally YET they are able to move their asses into gear and actually build the stamina to run. Hats off to these people!

I have more to say about exercise but it is Sunday today and watching the mini-marathon runners is giving me a headache, so more later…

Thank you to Ann Marcelis and Karen vander plaetse for these pictures.

Tx to princess_misia

{October 3, 2009} What is socially acceptable behaviour on public transport and what isnt….

I begin todays posting by asking myself, what is the social etiquette when one is on a train, or metro or any form of public transport? It’s a topic I have asked myself and many others, it is also a question I have asked many people over years. Many many friends have received early morning texts with exclamations at the behaviours of those around me on public transport. (Sorry to all)
This does not limit itself to one country either, although I didn’t expect weird behaviour on the metro to stop when I move country, I possibly did expect to see a different class of behaviour. Now I can’t really explain why I thought that but there it is.
Two examples spring to mind as I sit on this train to work. One yesterday, a 30-something lady was quietly reading her book when a boy sits next to her and had quite loud music playing. Both minding their own business (obviously I wasn’t) when the woman says to the boy “Please can you turn your music down, it’s very loud?” He replied “no” and looked a little triumphant and defiant at the same time. The lady responded “it’s very loud that I can hear it” The boy looked smugly on while his mates who are standing are all sniggering by the door. The lady then proceeds to take his headphones off one ear. He looks absolutely livid when she says “look, look how loud it is” The boy looked mad and you could see in his eyes – he wanted to lash out in some way, but he didn’t say anything and got off at the next stop with his friends.
What is the social protocol here? Should she have taken the headphones off the boy? Should she have given him the name of a good ear doctor? Should he have respected her request? It’s a very odd scenario and the boy looked no older than 15. It just made me think about the way you behave on public transport.
The second example has just happened when I began writing this piece. The train conductor has come to check our tickets and the guy next to me is picking his nose with some fervour! The conductor and I just looked at this guy giving him a strange look. Should you pick your nose in public? That’s not a question limited to public transport only.
What should you do on public transport? Talk loudly, read, listen to music or clean facial orifices where possible? This morning on the metro, a guy sat in a seat in front of me with a cotton bud and proceeded to clean his ears look at it every once in awhile to make sure he had everything! GROSS! WHAT ON EARTH? WHY?? Is the public transport an extension of your lounge? I think not!
On the other hand, I do make mistakes myself and I understand that I am not blameless. I am that person on the train that sometimes has 3 – 4 bags with her on the train and is struggling to handle everything (its not my fault, laptop bag, handbag, lunch bag and gym bag – now looking at that list, I should probably buy myself a Samsonite!). I am also that person that occasionally puts her feet up on the metro or the trains if I’m working or if it’s an empty carriage and have been told off once or twice – I did listen!
Close friends will say that I should stop complaining and learn to drive. I suppose they have a point, maybe I should get a move on with that…..

The crazy haired one is me.

{October 2, 2009} me and my bb

Let me explain a little about myself. While I was a student, I worked part time at a mobile phone store for four and a half years. The new phones and the new deals were drummed into me mercilessly to ensure I wouldn’t miss-sell anything. There were the constant battles over who had the best phones with your colleagues. I remember this fondly as I was as bad as the rest; spending the best part of £200 for a Nokia 8210 and then remember when my sister (who wasn’t part of the competition) got one for free! The battle for the camera phones then soon began with the Sony Ericsson T68 grey then in white then the T68i with the attachment! The battle goes on and on and on. I know my ex colleagues who are still in the industry still face the same battle at Managers meetings with iPhones and Blackberrys. This brings me to my blog piece.
So having recently started at a new company, a new perk that I enjoy is having a Blackberry as part of the package. Now I realise I may be a little late in joining this particular group of people and loving how it can seep into every part of your life!

Now for the first few days – I couldn’t actually put it down and loved ones around me did admittedly lose out to the BB for a few days – I downloaded every app I thought I would ever need and tested all the different twitter apps to find the one best suited to me. It took me about a week to realise it’s JUST A PHONE!

When I went back to the office the following week the discussion began over the differences between the iPhone and the BB or the games and the different ways you can become obsessed with it (there are many) (our favourite is one for iPhones http://www.theisnort.com/isnort.html – thank you Marc Vael for that one). My obsession grew with it, and I began looking for interesting covers and cases for it (based on what would go with my outfit) and loved it again like one would rejoice in a rediscovered love. We went for long walks together, took train journeys everywhere, he sang to me when I was bored, he took snapshots of fun times. We bonded and there was general feeling of love.

Two weeks ago, my bb was stolen – it was hideous, there were tears, screaming and general wailing to anyone who listened and to everyone who didn’t even care – you really have to feel sorry for the guy sitting next to me on the Eurostar back to Brussels as I moaned for two hours straight! (then again, it could have been worse for him and there could have been delays on the train).
For two weeks, there has been no bb, and I don’t care – I honestly don’t care if anyone called me, where my phone is now, The number of times I have left my phone at home for the past two weeks has been numerous, which would never have happened six years ago! At that time, I would have forgotten my clothes but not my phone! How times have changed.
Back to the present day where, a new bb has arrived and I’ll pick it up tomorrow, so how will I fare? Will I remember what life was like beforehand or will it all be forgotten in the mad frenzy of using both hands to hold a phone and to let everyone know when I see poo on the road again?

bb image

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